why being angry isn't always a bad thing

Chances are, you're angry about something. 

Something at work, something on the news, something your football team did, something your other half didn't do.

Doesn't matter what it is, anger is the overriding emotion.

I'm currently angry. Probably as angry as I've ever been. But not a reactive type of anger. I think of it like spice, as its a spicy emotion.

A chili beef ramen from wagamama has a sharp spice. It's strong and sharp but doesn't last long. It quickly wears off.

A slap up vindaloo has a long-lasting, heavy and suffocating burn to it.

Anger is the same. Some anger is sharp and reactive. Some is slow-reared, builds up over time and hard to budge.

The anger I feel right now is a vindaloo rage.

I'm OK in the day, but when I put my head on my pillow at night I am apoplectic. So many thoughts, scenarios race into my head and dominate my sleep. I dream angry, wake sad, but always frustrated when I'm wanting to nod off.

Anger isn't something I know a lot about. I don't often get angry, certainly not about dumb stuff. Usually I get mad about people hurting others, injustice, and occasionally the football lol

But this time I'm angry for myself. 

I won't get into details, but when your character is brought into question by the people you trust the most, it leaves a special mark.

I endeavour to do everything I can for a subset of the people in my life and I am proud of that. I know I'm a good guy generally, even if sometimes I fall victim to the same human frailties and hubris that we all do.

That's where it comes from. I now see that value in myself. I was this angry back in February, but then i was angry at myself. I hates myself, my failings, my decisions. But now I see that I'm Joe, and that my value isn't dictated by others.

I can empathise with people and their pain, even when it is directed at me in anger or in projection, and say - I'm sorry you feel like that but it isn't right.

That feels like a big step.

The moral of the story (alright aesop) is that Anger, like every emotion, is TELLING YOU SOMETHING. Live the anger, let it out in a healthy way and listen to what it is saying. It can energise you, empower you, drive you to protect yourself and your loved ones.

I'm not an angry person and I'm certainly not confrontational, but the best way I deal with anger is this: let the world be wrong about you.