It's my birthday. 30. Why you shouldn't fear it.

 

It’s here. I’m 30. If you were in the same ‘92/93 crowd, that day is either coming soon or it’s been and gone. There’s a ton of angst surrounding this birthday for a lot of people, even people in their early 20s. The 30’s feel like a checkpoint, a review of your life so far. Seeing your decisions, your successes and failures in the rear-view mirror is a scary prospect.

Not got the job you wanted? Not settled down while your friends are getting married? Not having the children you’ve always wanted? Not got the place of your own you covet, or the dog you always dreamed of?

That’s what turning 30 felt like. All those chickens came home to roost. 12 months ago, I was terrified, as I’m sure a lot of you are too. It makes sense. That’s a perfectly normal way to feel; a despondency and frustration which people try to alleviate by saying : “life starts at 30”, “age is a number”, “it’s all arbitrary”. Well, they’re right. They’re flippant, but they’re right. If that’s you right now, dreading that day or that feeling, let it lie. It’s telling you something. Something you aren’t happy with in your own life, or something you want to change. That force doesn’t have to be a negative one. It’s easy to slip into the mask of self-critique, to hit yourself with your bad decisions, failed careers, breakups, losses. The truth of it is, that’s all behind you. That’s what your 20’s really were for. Comparison to your older friends or relatives is meaningless. They don’t live in the context of the digital age.

They own a house? Great.

They have a better pension? Great.

They were settled and happier long before they were 30? Great.

That’s not us. That’s not for our generation. Some of us may be there, but they are the minority and we must celebrate their success. Your success, if you are worried about being 30, is ultimately driven by the chaos, the malison, the hubris of your 20s. Learn, live and allow yourself to be upset.

This year, I’ve looked at the milestone far differently. I reached a critical point in my life when I was 29 where I had to readjust. Look inside for validation, rather than find it fleetingly in others. Now I see 30 as an opportunity. To live and build a life as a stronger, wiser and more well-rounded human being. The 20s were a very difficult decade for me.  There have been countless times where I didn’t know if I’d ever see myself turn 30. Despite everything, we are here.a The 30s can only be better because of that experience.

Own your mistakes, don’t lament over lost time. Time is never lost, only ever invested. If you have taken time for yourself over your ambitions in recent years, that’s just you investing in you. It may keep happening.

 

 

 

Oh and your car insurance is probably going to be way cheaper if none of that convinced you 😊